Paused...Until He Takes Us Home!

I'm not the die hard potty training mom who tosses out all diapers and goes cold turkey with nothing but undies.  I keep them in their diaper for nap and bedtime until they start to wake up dry.  With Adda and Ella dry nap time happened pretty quick.  With bedtime it took Adda a good 5 or 6 months to wake up dry and with Ella it only took a few weeks.  So, when I potty train I go in as quick as I can to get them out of the diaper before they wet it, especially in the beginning so they have more success. This is what has worked for me.

Let's start with day 1.  My mom is here visiting and she very graciously agreed to help me do this.  She, by the way is the BEST mom there is because she did her potty training a long time ago with Lee and I.  Very quickly into day 1 I realized that there was no way I could have done it without help.  Potty training two at once is SOOOOO much different than one.  They don't drink at the same time.  They don't pee at the same time.  They don't poo at that same time.  So, you are running back and forth from one bathroom to the other asking one kid the same question 90,000 times a day and trying to remember who just went teetee and who didn't do anything.  All while I have the other two varmints needing me every so often.  Hold cow it's crazy!  By the end of this day we only had 4 accidents total, one dry nap time diaper, and they both went #2 on the potty.  I was amazed actually because day 1 with Adda and Ella was like 9 accidents to1 success.  So for two at one time to do so well seemed like this would be no big deal at all.  By the end of day 1 both of the twins started getting a fever and Chloe had weird hives.  I didn't think much about it because it was a low fever and decided I would just watch them.  So day 1 seemed to be good and my mom and I ended that day with margaritas on the couch after everyone went to bed!

Day 2 went pretty good too in terms of accidents.  Chloe had a little dribble accident first thing in the morning and that was it all day long for both of them.  The only thing that got me worried was that they, especially Claire, only went teetee about 3 times and they were dry for hours at a time.  They both still had this lingering fever and you could tell could feel it.  I was a little nervous that they weren't drinking enough with this fever.  Because it was such a low grade fever I thought for sure they would wake up fever free and ready to go for day 3.  Again, my mom and I ended the day with margaritas on the coach after everyone went to bed...and we watched the Bachelorette and Real Housewives of Orange County.  Smut TV and an adult beverage seemed to be just what we needed to head into day 3.  Haha!  You would have ended that day the same way...trust me! 

Today was day 3 and it started out rough when I rushed in to get them up as soon as I heard the first peep only to smell poop.  Claire had been working on a good one the day before with no success before bed and I knew she would need to right away in the morning.  I got them out of their diapers and gave them their milk and we sat for our first potty break of the day.  Nobody had a drip.  About 10 minutes later Claire gave us a weird look as was standing in a puddle.  At this point all positive thoughts I was having flew out the window.  I'm pretty good at letting the devil blow out my flame within 30 minutes of the day starting.  I started to feel sad, disappointed, discouraged, and felt like a cloud of yuck was hanging over me.  Like I said before, often the enemy slaps me around early in the day.  That's when everyone is needy and wants milk, and breakfast, and blankets, and dressed, and hair done, and toys out, and Nick Jr. turned on, and so on, and so on, and so on!!!  Usually the first person to ask a question in an ungrateful way gets the crazy eye with a touch of screaming!  I'm sorry!  I'm working on all this!  It's a daily hand over to The Lord.

As I felt myself going to this gross place this morning I knew I needed some good ole prayers.  Luckily I have an amazing group of people that I text and tell my ugliness and they beg The Lord on my behalf.  After several responses of encouraging words and prayers I felt encouraged and ready to get back on the potty bandwagon.  Two ladies, that very much love The Lord, and hear from The Lord, and love me dearly responded with encouraging words to not kill myself and pause this potty training if need be.  I honestly was a little defensive at first because by golly we were gonna get this potty training down come hell or high water.  I mean I posted it to freaking facebook...you can't turn back from that!  Everyone knows your business...stupid social media! 😉

The morning moved on and the twins both were accident free all the way through lunch.  They both went potty right before naps and Claire woke up with a dry diaper.  We drank a smoothie and took a walk outside and came in to potty and Chloe had a #2 success on the potty but neither one went teetee  Right after the potty break Claire had an accident.  Both of them had no fever but were now coughing like crazy.  With all the coughing and Claire's accident I started to head right back down that dark road with my stupid thoughts.  Adda was also couching up a small lung and all I could think about was having to stop potty training.  Their fever came back, and I started to really feel like The Lord was pushing me to remember the words I heard from my two friends earlier in the day about stopping if I needed to.  Was this worth everyone loosing their JOY?  Was it worth the twins having to continue feeling a little like crap and go through this at the same time?  Oh, and I didn't mention that Thursday is our anniversary and my mom was planning on watching the girls so we could go to dinner.  There was no way I could leave her by herself if things weren't looking up around here.

We decided to all load up and pick dinner up at Taco Bueno.  The babies stayed dry the whole way there and back and we went straight to the potty when we got home.  Neither one went teetee so we put them in their seats and all started to eat.  I was sitting in my chair running things through my head when Claire let me know that she went teetee in her chair.  So did Chloe!

When The Lord is checking my prideful heart I usually break down and cry and get really real and all the thoughts I think start rolling out of my mouth.  This time was no different.  I started to cry and told my mom that I was afraid to stop for lots of reasons.  I was afraid of looking like a failure, I was afraid that stopping now would make it harder later, I was afraid of doing this again without my mom here.  I realize I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but I want to.  I started thinking about how moms put these ridiculous pressures on themselves and when they can't reach them its devastating at times.  I started to think about this rush I was in and why?  They aren't even 2 yet!  I think because I did Adda and Ella before they were 2 I decided the twins had to be done before 2 as well.  I started to thinking about the moms I know that would give anything to wipe another butt of the baby they no longer have.  I just wanted to stop and hug the babies with a diaper on and tell them how proud I was and how much I loved them. So I told my mom we are stopping!  She let out a gasp of excitement!  I wanted to be real and bring light to this crazy place we as moms put ourselves in.  I loaded myself down with these must reach goals because it all seemed to line up the right way in my eyes and I was going to get all 4 of mine potty trained by the time they were 2.  Gosh my pride is so gross!

In reality this is not the same as Adda or Ella.  Things were going good and this fever threw us off track and The Lord did some good work in my heart today.  I don't count the last 3 days out.  They were good and I'm always up for a good heart change!  The second I told my mom I wanted to stop I felt like 50lbs were lifted from my shoulders.  Don't carry all that crap Jocelyn!  I can't wait to just let them pee in their diaper tomorrow and cuddle them!!!  Adda asked me what we were doing tomorrow and I said sit, and cuddle, and play, and love on each other.  I'm good with that!  We will revisit it all maybe in July.  I'm going to still put them on the potty every once in a while and ask them about poop.  We are going to work on them telling me more when they feel like going to the potty. This works for now!!!

We are fine, this is fine, get a grip Jocelyn.  You don't have to be a prefect mom!  Isn't this what we tell ourselves all the time??!!!

So we are ending day 3 again with a margarita on the couch after everyone has gone to sleep. We are going to get donuts in the morning and enjoy the day hoping the girls start to feel better.

Oh, and change a few diapers too!