2 Months Old

Chloe - 2 Months

Claire - 2 Months

Adda - 2 Months

Ella - Almost 3 Months

Yesterday the twins turned 2 months old.  Sometimes I feel like it's been 4 months and sometimes I feel like it's been a month.  Having two infants, an 18 month old, and a just turned 4 year old is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  With that being said I know that God choose us to be here in this moment doing what we are doing.  Every time I start to get overwhelmed (which is often) I try to say out loud "HELP ME LORD!"  Getting to this place has been a process.  I have had lots of people ask me what it's like, and how I do twins.  I have had many people ask what my days are like and what our routine is.  It's a mad house!!!  We are non stop from sun up till sun down!  Here is a little back info to where we are now.   

Coming home from the hospital I had two very jaundiced babies.  Some of the NICU doctors we saw didn't feel like the babies were quite 38 weeks.  They felt like because of how they sucked they might be closer to 37.  Their sucking was weak and I was under great pressure to get lots of milk in them to try and get rid of the jaundice.  We got up every morning at the crack of dawn with no sleep to feed the babies and take them in to get their feet pricked to check their jaundice.  This was miserable and actually probably dangerous for us to be driving in complete exhaustion every morning.  Chloe's started to go down but Claire's did not.  I learned that I had Breast Milk Jaundice.  It had to do with my milk, so I had to stop breastfeeding Claire for a weekend to see if that would help.  My pediatrician called to tell me this and I cried.  She knew how important breast feeding was to me.  I realized that there was nothing wrong with formula.  In fact it's an amazing thing.  It's amazing that there is something to keep babies alive without their mother.  During this weekend I got a glimpse of how amazing it was to have help with feedings.  Up until this point I was breastfeeding them both but not at the same time.  Because of their weak sucking I was not able to feed at the same time.  So we made a huge decision and decided to pump and bottle feed.  It was amazing!  This made it so that we could go places, like church!!!!  I honestly thought I would only do it for a little while until they gained back some weight and were sucking better but now that we are in a pretty good routine I'm not sure I will try to latch them on again.  They feed 6 times a day and I pump 5 times.  My milk is abundant at this point and I am making enough for every feeding.  We are giving them one formula bottle a day just to make sure they are used to it just in case my milk supply quits on me.  Our pediatrician signed us up for a multiples program where we are getting free formula which is such a blessing.

None of the way it has gone down was in my plan.  My plan isn't a good plan anyways!  God used those two circumstances to help me get rid of my pride about formula and breastfeeding.  I can't even begin to tell you how good it felt to have the stress lifted from my shoulders about keeping two babies alive with only my milk from my body  for 12 months all by myself.  I am not super mom!  I am not able to do this on my own physically or mentally!  Giving someone else a bottle to feed one of my babies is ok!  I don't have to be all up in every single moment to be considered a "good" mommy!  I am thankful for God bringing me to this realization.  They aren't held and snuggled as much as I did Adda and Ella but anytime someone comes over I hand them a baby and say snuggle!  Luckily I have had so many people come over and love on these girls.  When I start to feel guilty for not doing what I did with Adda and Ella for the twins I quickly tell Satan his lies don't define me.   There is no room for guilt in my heart.  We are doing the very best we can!  And that is good enough!

 Using my legs to let the babies sleep while I play with Ella.

 Claire smiling at me before a feeding. 

 Chloe in a milk coma after a feeding.

 Laughing but not looking

 Holding Hands

 One of their favorite places to be is in the bouncers on the kitchen table.

     

The Start of a new School Year - Many New Things

Today marks the start of a new school year.  We have lots of new things happening in our life. 

New High School
Gonzo was hired at Ft. Worth Dunbar High School as the Defensive Coordinator.  We prayed our guts out about THE job that God had for us.  The way this job appeared was no accident and had nothing to do with Gonzo, but only God.  He provided it!  We can't help but feel great joy when we think about that.  He stretched us to a point where we laid it all down and gave it to Him.  After all, it's all His anyways!  We just have to get to a place that we can give up on our efforts that will make no difference.

New Babies
The twins are just precious!  They are such good babies and are doing so well.  Every time I look at them I am reminded of the trial that we walked through as a family while I was pregnant.  They are our symbol from now until I die of God's faithfulness.  His faithfulness to walk with us through the desert.

New Preschool
Adda is going to start preschool on Thursday.  She will be going two days a week and could not be more excited.  Mostly she wants to tell everyone she sees about her new rainbow nap mat.  God totally allowed this to happen and we are so grateful.  This will be so good for her.  And, lets be honest it will be good for those of us left at home.  One less kid will make my house seem like a library!  We are very much looking forward to seeing how God will grow her this school year.  We are praying for her to blossom and make a new friend who's family loves the Lord dearly!  She is in the same class as Abel (her cousin) so they both will have a built in friend on Day 1.

  
New Mascot and School Color (for Gonzo)
One of the most exciting parts about this new job is the mascot and colors.  You Lovington people will appreciate this.  We are now Wildcats and our colors are blue and white.  But it's not just any blue, it's the one and only Wildcat Blue!  I'm so fired up about it that I have taught Adda and Ella all my high school cheers.  It was meant to be!!!  Now I just need to get some Wildcat gear for the girls and I.  All my Wildcat stuff says Lovington on it.  That might be a little weird to show up with Lovington Wildcat shirts on at the game!

New Church
Our church is finally open.  For that last almost year we have been meeting at Fielder Road on Sunday nights.  A few weeks after the twins were born the church was ready to open for services.  On the first Sunday they turned away about 200 cars from the two services combined.  There is now a third service and God is doing big things through this campus of The Village Church!  It was been so sweet to be able to worship with my brother and Andrea.  I love that my girls will get to worship Jesus along side their cousins.


With all these new things happening around us things can't help but be a tiny bit crazy!  That's an understatement!!!  I feel like my feet don't touch the ground until bedtime (my bedtime that is) and they aren't even on the ground then!  No doubt, this has been a very crazy 6 months of our lives, but so so good!  God's love and mercy are wrapped around every single new thing in our lives.

Genesis 1
¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ² Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
   ³ And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. ⁴ God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. ⁵ God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
   ⁶ And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” ⁷ So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. ⁸ God called the vault “sky.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
   ⁹ And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.” And it was so. ¹⁰ God called the dry ground “land,” and the gathered waters he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good.
      ¹¹ Then God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. ¹² The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. ¹³ And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.
   ¹⁴ And God said, “Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, ¹⁵ and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. ¹⁶ God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. ¹⁷ God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, ¹⁸ to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. ¹⁹ And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.
   ²⁰ And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” ²¹ So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. ²² God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” ²³ And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.
   ²⁴ And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. ²⁵ God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
      ²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,^[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
   ²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image,
   in the image of God he created them;
   male and female he created them.
   ²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
      ²⁹ Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰ And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.
      ³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

God speaks to us in this smooth flowing rhythm telling us all about the things He has created.  He tells us throughout this chapter that "it was good" giving us a clear picture of His great love for us.  I can read this chapter over and over and feel a peace in my soul.  His love is great and IT IS GOOD!  Go back and read it in this still, smooth rhythm.  You will feel a peace and sense God's great love! 

My Granny used to say all the time that her life was "good".  And, to be honest a portion of her life was not good.  It was not how God intended it to be.  Things happened to her that were not supposed to be.  The clear picture of God's Redeeming Love is that she could see that because of HIM her life was GOOD!

When I think about all the new things that have happened to us recently all I can say is, it is good!  It's all been hard, but oh so good!    

Can you look at the hard things and know that God has it figured out anyways?  Can you step back and realize that He has a better plan than you have in mind?  Can you look at what's going on in your life and say with great passion and tenderness that it's all been good?  There is a peace in this place!

Here is a pretty sweet picture of peace!  God's plan is good!  Oh, so so Good!

 

80 Days...

It's been 80 days since my last post.

I am alive

Gonzo and I have been married 8 years

I have two more daughters

Adda turned 4 years old

My husband has a new coaching job

My back is hurting less

My stomach skin is hanging lower

Gonzo and I are closer than we have ever been

God has blown up our lives

Yes, that's right!  You read that right!  Over the last 80 days God has changed our family in ways I can't even begin to explain.  In fact He is still changing us!  It won't stop because He has captured our hearts!

80 days ago Gonzo started a search for a new job!  I was about 10 weeks away from having two more kids and we were job searching.  Stressed is just one word to describe what we were feeling.  In every second we were having to cry out to The Lord and trust, trust, trust that He had a plan.  We knew He would not leave us in despair but you loose faith from moment to moment!  It's all over the Bible where people lost faith!  He never leaves us!

Through trial and turmoil God only wants our hearts.  He loves us so much that He is willing to blow up your "every day" to capture your heart.  He loves us so much and He wants the very best for us.  Sometimes we think the very best is not really the very best.  He is willing to let you walk through hard times to grow your faith in Him.  He is out for your heart!

80 days ago my version of God was a good version, but it was limited and small.  I rested on my "Lewis" family testimonies as my faith!  I had never really had to walk through the desert to drink from His hands.  In the midst of the stress, He carried us through.

I will post more about the last 80 days in the weeks to come.  I kept a journal through it all and have so many great things to share that God has revealed to us.  So many great verses to read and meditate on!  My God is a good God who loves more than imaginable!

Here are a few pictures of us over the last 80 days.

 35 Weeks with Chloe and Claire

 Adda taking a picture of us before we went on our anniversary date!

 Father's Day!

 Can't really tell but this is "Hoppy" the frog that Adda caught with her bare hands!  She has continued to catch poor Hoppy almost every time Gonzo mows the yard all summer long.  Hoppy is almost too big to put in the jar now.  He should hop away from our yard!  He can't seem to get it through his head that she will find him every time! 

 Fixing to head to the hospital to have The Twins!  38 weeks

 38 Weeks and SOOOO ready!

 Gonzo with his "let's have these babies" gear on!

 Here they are!!!! Don't ask me who is who in this picture or the next one!

 Chloe on top, no wait I mean Claire on top and Chloe on the bottom. 

 Grand baby number 7 and 8! 

 The girls meeting their new sisters!

 Going home after a little while in the NICU!

 Birthday Girl turns 4!

 Family birthday party!!!

 Happy Birthday to you!!!!

 First step to getting Ella in the room with Adda in a big girl bed.  She has done great and we are putting her in the room with Adda this weekend! 

 

Through all of this...God has been faithful!  More details to come!!!

Mother's Day 2013

Last year at this time I had two girls!  Last year at this time I had no idea I would be pregnant with TWO more girls!  I feel so very lucky that God choose me to be the mommy to these girls!  I feel so lucky that I will get to show them Jesus each day.  Some days more than others, I'm sure!    For some reason He thinks I'm good at this mom thing and I will try each day to be a Godly Mommy to all four of them!  I hope they will see exactly what I saw in my Momma growing up!  My Dad sent me a text yesterday morning that made me cry.  It made me feel even more lucky and grateful that God choose me!   

Happy Mother's Day!  Who would have known the wonderful Mom that our little Jocelyn Suzanne would grow up to be.  You have done well with Adda and Ella!  You have a great challenge ahead of you, but I know you will do well with Chloe and Claire.  Just acknowledge everyday that you can't, but The Lord can!  Adda, Ella, Chloe, and Claire are blessed to have such a wonderful Mom!

Chloe and Claire-31 weeks pregnant

 Ella Suzanne-15 months old

 Adda Elizabeth-Almost 4 years old

These Naughty Twins!

I went to the doctor on Friday for an ultrasound and found out that in the past four weeks these girls have both flipped and are breech!  I was so shocked and disappointed at the same time.  They were both head down last time and I was so excited and thankful!  More than anything I want to have these two babies vaginally.  If they are not head down (or at least baby A) by 35 weeks they go ahead and schedule a c-section.  Then when you go in on your c-section date they do one more ultrasound to check.  I'm assuming that if they aren't breech at that point they would just induce me and let me do it vaginally instead.  I think once you have had a baby vaginally and know how easy the recovery is you for sure don't want a c-section.  If you talk to someone who has had both, more than likely they will say vaginally all the way!!!  It's a 24 hour recovery rather than a week recovery.  The thought of having to recover from my gut being cut open, with two new babies, learning how to breastfeed two new babies, and having an almost 4 year old and a 17 month old really doesn't sound like a fun plan at all!  So...I'm asking for your prayers!  Please pray with us that these babies will turn back around and be head down.  Please pray that their birth will be a vaginal birth!  Obviously we want what is best for the babies at that moment but my desire is to have them the way I had Adda and Ella!  The doctor said I had plenty of fluid for them to flip back around so I am praying and trusting that God will turn these two naughty little girls around!

 Here they are together.  These are their heads.  Chloe (A) is on top of Claire (B).  They are not exactly breech which would be directly center of your stomach between your two sets of ribs.  They are diagonally breech from the right set of ribs to the left!  Chloe with her feet to my left set of ribs and Claire with her feet to my left hip.  Chloe (A) would hardly let us get any picture of Claire (B)! 

Chloe's profile!  In one month they both doubled their weight and grew in length about 3 inches!  This is fantastic news, but we just want them head down.  Chloe is 4.5 lbs and 17.1 inches long.  

The front of Chloe's face.  

  

Claire's profile!  If you can tell above her forehead is a knee and leg.  That would be her sister on top of her.  She is 4 lbs and 16.4 inches long.  Almost the exact difference between the two of them from 4 weeks ago. 

 The front of Claire's face!

After the sonogram we met with our doctor and he said they are REALLY big for 31 weeks.  I said I was glad that I would rather them be bigger than itty bitty!  He quickly replied that it was good but not for the mommy carrying them!  Ugh!  This totally justifies my hugeness!  He also said there was no need to keep measuring my belly because I was for sure measuring well over full term.  I read today that it's like carrying 4 naval oranges at 31 weeks, so...that means I am carrying 8 naval oranges!

  This looks more like 12 oranges to me!!!  Yikes!

Please pray for Chloe and Claire to turn to the head down position.  I am going to the doctor weekly now and will likely have a sonogram each time.  Let's pray we will see them head down on Friday morning at 8:50 am!  Thanks for praying with us!  We love you all!

Many Changes

We have had many changes around our house since my last post.  Which the last post was so long ago that inevitably there should be lots of changes!!!

Here are some of the changes:
*I'm almost 31 weeks but measuring about 42 weeks.  Last night I woke up at 12:30 to vomit in my mouth because the babies took a wrong turn and started playing tag on my stomach causing my dinner to come right up.  After I coughed and gagged for a few minutes I brushed my teeth and went back to bed laying on my left side this time.  I fell back asleep and woke up a few hours later to sharp pains in my ribs from them playing tag in my rib cage!  I have read where people say they can feel every ounce of the babies towards the end and I totally understand what that means.  I can feel every inch of them in my belly!

The girls feeling the babies kick one morning last week!  My stomach looks like waves in the ocean at times they are moving so much!

 Belly shot last week at almost 30 weeks.  Bathroom is a mess, no judgement!

* Ella is almost 15 months old.  She is so busy and talks up a storm.  Adda talked early but Ella is even ahead of her with some things.  I'm sure it has to do with there being much more conversation going on at all times.  When my parents where here this weekend she told my mom about 50 times "I want phone!"  I try not to let her play with my phone much and my mom was letting her play with hers.  She is pretty good about vocalizing what she wants and following directions.

 Two of her favorite things: milk and the red football.  She goes straight for the red football when she sees the toy box.  She also likes the "baball" but prefers the football.  This morning she had a little trouble deciding what had to be put down to be able to drink the milk!  Such a determined look on her face!

* Adda is becoming an independent woman.  We started a sticker chart for her a few weeks ago.  Most everything on it are things that she can do on her own like: putting shoes on, getting in car seat and buckling, washing herself in the shower, brushing her teeth, helping with chores, etc.  We did have to add to most of them two very important words, "without whining!!!"  Sometimes I tell her she sounds like a puppy with her whining!  It makes me want to shut my head in a freezer door over and over!  I guess it's part of her age and even more part of being a girl!  SOOOO dramatic, and such a short fuse!

Such a cheeser!  Here is the sticker chart!!!  You might notice that one row is already full.  She is a pro at going potty all by herself!  We are working on the flushing!  She is always in such a hurry to finish and wash her hands for 10 minutes that she forgets to flush!  Hey, we'll take what we can get!  For filling the row she was able to go get orange sherbet from Braums!  Anything orange is a great prize for her!

* Gonzo is finished with track!  HALLELUIAH!  It was a very long and very busy track season.  Spring football has started!  There really is not an off season at all!  It's always the same every year that he gets stressed that they aren't very good because they have lost a few really good defensive players to the offensive side of the ball and somehow they manage to make it happen on the defensive side of the ball once the season starts.  I'm always so proud of how hard he works at his job!  He is one of the hardest workers I've ever seen and his efforts don't go unseen!  He has also picked up a second job when he comes home from work.  After cleaning house last week and feeling like I might have two babies soon he told me I am officially done.  No more cleaning!  He comes home and gets dinner situated for everyone and then does the dishes, and then takes the girls outside for a while, and so on!  He is the best there is!  I love him dearly!

* Our house is full of baby things for the twins with no place to put them yet!  I'm nesting like a crazy woman and can't do much because I physically can't do it by myself and we have to do some organizing and moving things around to make it all fit.  This is when I wish we had another room!  We will be a "Full House" literally!

 Do not judge the mess you see in my house!  There are piles of things in most rooms.  Here is the pile in the kitchen corner.  Just working on a place to put it. 

 Letters for their names on the ledge in the kitchen.

 A pile from the shower this weekend on the fireplace in the living room. 

 One car seat in the entry way!

 A pile in Ella's room that has no home yet!

 Diapers galore in Ella's closet (soon to be Chloe and Chair's closet)!

 The second car seat in the sun room!  We also have some stuff in the trunk of Maggie The Minivan.  Ugh!  We have major plans to get some things organized and put away this weekend! 

 The bottom of Ella's closet.  Oh boy!  We need an extra room in this house!!!

* The best change I can think of since my last post is that I am now a "Minivan Momma" and proud of it.  I'm not sure what the big stigma is with having a minivan but people are crazy!  They are amazing!!!!  Any vehicle that has doors and a trunk that open by a push of a button is A+ in my book!  It was such a God thing that it worked out the way it did and we are so proud of it.  So proud that Adda named it Maggie The Minivan!  So poor Gonzo will soon live in a house with a wife, four daughters, a female cat named Sissy, and a female minivan named Maggie.  It's just he and his truck!

At the dealership switching car seats from the old car to the new MINIVAN!  

 Adda in her new Van!  That girls has got Medusa hair in this picture!

 "Maggie" at home in our driveway!  We love it and feel so blessed that The Lord made this happen for our big ol' family!!!