Friday Night Wife: February 2015

Marbles...I'm sure you're wondering...Where's she going with this????
Twice this has happened. Twice people driving by have seen this. Twice I have almost died with this HUGE sack of marbles. It's happened twice!!!
I'm sure you are still wondering.

Yesterday I made plans with Adda to eat lunch at school. She had two Book-It pizza coupons to spend for reading extra books. Gonzo picked up the two personal pizzas for me the night before and all I would need to do is cut up some fruit, put some crackers in a bag, and fill everyone's water bottles and lunch would be ready for all the girls. Her lunch is at 10:44, which means I have to walk down the driveway at 10:30 to get to the school in the 8 minutes it takes walking, through 3 doors with my double stroller, checked in with the not so friendly and seemingly very judgmental front desk ladies, and sitting at the table with the girls lunch divvied up before Adda's class walks in.

So, let me start at 7:15. I had just finished Adda's hair and she was eating breakfast. Ella finished her pop tart and it was her turn to get dressed. I lifted her shirt and she was covered in hives. Like all over the place huge swollen hives. My eyes bugged out and Ella said, "I've got polka dots!" She was without a doubt having an allergic reaction. All I could think about was over a year before the 2 weeks of watching her with an allergic reaction to penicillin, and that was horrible. I immediately went into "oh crap" mode but knew I still had to get everyone dressed and fed and down the driveway by 8:00. As soon as we got back from taking Adda to school I called the Dr. and got online reading about an inhaler Ella started taking on Wednesday. At her 3 year visit I talked with our Dr. about some things I was seeing in Ella that seemed to point to asthma...things that I did at around her age before I was actually diagnosed with asthma. I had no doubt that's what was going on in her little body, a reaction to this inhaler. Before I knew it the clock said 10:20 and I had not gotten anything ready for lunch. I washed and cut up some strawberries, dumped some pretzels in a bag, filled everyone's water cups and threw it all in the diaper bag. I ran to the twins room and grabbed two diapers and started calling them to the living room to change their diapers. This is a joke because they like to pretend they don't hear me yelling their name for a new diaper. They like to keep doing whatever they are doing or come look at me and smile and run the other way. I snatched one up and started to change her diaper and yelled for Ella to potty and get her shoes on. Got both diapers changed and their shoes on and headed for the back door. Ella came running with her jacket and had her shoes on the wrong feet. Got that situated and herded the cats out the door to get the babies in the stroller when the clock said 10:32. Down the driveway we went with Ella standing on the back of the stroller while I pushed. We were walking quickly down Green Oaks (a very busy street) and almost to the stoplight when I realized I left the FREAKING PIZZA!!!! The whole reason Adda wanted us to go eat lunch...THE PIZZA. We turned around and I started to run back to the house to not just get the two personal pizzas, but I still had to heat the two personal pizzas. I pushed my load up our very steep driveway and closed the garage door behind us so I could run in and heat pizza without unloading from the stroller. On any other day when heating a small pizza in the microwave 30-45 seconds would have been perfect...not this day...1 minute and 15 seconds later per pizza they seemed luke warm enough to go. I ran to the garage yelling for Ella to get on the stroller. After we waited for the garage door to slowly go half way up I ran down the very steep driveway with (in my estimation...Ella 32 lbs, Twins 40ish lbs, Big Ass Stroller 40 lbs) my load. As we were going down Ella screamed. Not just a scream, she screamed the letters S.H.I.T!!! Three years old screaming SHIT as we fly down the driveway on four small plastic wheels! I quickly told her not to say that and shook my head in severe disappointment for my lack of control with that word. Oh my!!! My kids are warped!!! It's official!!!

We took a quick left and I ran down Green Oaks (the very busy street), then a quick right at the stop light across Green Oaks (the very busy street), and down the street headed for Adda's school. As I was running I had a thought...What does this look like from behind?, In my head it looks like a HUGE sack of marbles beating me in the back of the head. Everyone passing by knew I was not exercising. Who would throw their 3 years old on the back and run like that? No, it was very clear I was running because I was late, and my life is freaking nuts, and I can't get my crap together to be somewhere on time. All I could see was Adda sitting at the end of the lunch table looking for me to bust through the doors with two personal pizzas! As the HUGE bag of marbles continued to beat me in the back I ran as fast as I could until the hill started to incline and I had to stop and just put my head down and push. I felt like a mule walking through a blizzard pulling a wagon with a family of 10. Ella was asking 50 questions and I finally said Ella...Please...Stop...Asking...Me...Questions...I...Need...To...Focus...We...Are...Late...I...Can't...Breath!!!!
I got up the hill, took a left and finished the hill. Finally we were rolling on flat ground and I was at the front door of the school. I pushed the button to have the door unlocked. I heard the click and I pulled my wagon through the doors. There were doors right there in front of me and I could have gone right through them and would have been right at Adda's lunch table where I could see her waiting. Instead, for all the children of Ditto and their safety, I had to take another left and pull my stroller through two more doors that are within a few feet of each other. The first door is at an awkward angle and has all kinds of Hobby Lobby trinkets, a lamp, and a table right as you go through. I pulled the stroller over the threshold praying the door frame would hold and nobody would loose a knuckle. I looked up to see the two not very friendly ladies in the front glaring up at me from their computers and the principle having a lovely chuckle with, I'm assuming, another teacher. I wanted to scream, DID ANYONE ANTICIPATE A HUGE SACK OF MARBLES AND A MOM OF MULTIPLES COMING THROUGH ALL THESE FREAKING DOORS WHEN YOU HIT UP THE 40% OFF SALE TO DECORATE THE OFFICE?!?!?!?! Just when those words were about to fly out of my mouth the Kindergarten Aids opened the door and pulled the wagon and children through to the table while I waited on my TAG. Thank The Good Lord for those ladies!!! They looked so sympathetic as they came in to help me. I must have looked like dodo! I got the tag and walked in the last of the doors to sit down and pass out the food to all the children. They ate, I sat staring at the wall while all my limbs were shaking from the workout with a HUGE sack of marbles.

And just like that, her lunch was over, her class was leaving, and my ankles were still shaking. We loaded back up only to walk back through all those f-ing doors. As we rolled closer to the office I was thinking of what I would say to justify why the hell I am still pushing 20 month olds in the stroller. So I did...I used the "sandwich method" - positive, negative, positive!!! I very politely handed the lady my tag and said "Thanks! Sorry it's always a train wreck when I come in here! (positive tone) You know, one day they will be responsible enough to walk and not be in a DOUBLE stroller. (negative tone) Y'all have a great day! (positive tone)"

We walked home very slowly and must have lost the marbles along the way because I felt nothing hitting me in the back. I didn't regret my statements at all to those ladies.

I posted this picture on Instagram yesterday of all the children at the grocery store with me. This really has only happened 4 times I think. It's a beating, and makes me crazy, and tired, and pissed, and sad all at the same time. It never fails that I get several looks from people like, why would I bring them all to the store. Like I've totally ruined their grocery store experience by venturing out with my whole crew. After my jog, that was the last thing I wanted to do when Adda got out of school. There is a chance that I might use an "all meat method" full of a whole lot of negative for the next glare I get! Just sayin'!!!!